Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Tell Me About You. Who Are You?
I'm a 6 foot tall guy, I live in the UK. I have nice shoes, clean teeth and I get along great with my Mother. Any more questions?

Q: What Is This Stupid Website About?
It's a website devoted to the historical preservation of moose antlers, what do you think?

Q: How Do You Come Up With Such Crazy Material?
It takes practice!

Q: My Respected Psychic Astrologer Friend Thinks You're a Fraud
I AM a fraud!

Q: Can I List Your Site In My Magazine or Website?
Feel free to do what you like

Q: Please May I Use Your Work/Images As Part Of a Commercial Magazine/Newspaper/TV Programme?
Email me and let me know the details. I don't really mind you using stuff so long as its my own work and not some licensed image. If you published that, you could potentially get into trouble by the original copyright holder, so just email me just to check first.

Q: Why Are You Called The Goblin Prince?
Because "The Screaming-Chimp-On-A-Stick Prince" sounded silly.

Q: Why Do You Hide Behind a Shroud of Secrecy and Mystery?
Because I'm really mysterious! OK jokes aside I've had some really creepy emails in the past

Q: How Did You Create That 3D Animation With The Ladies In The Bathroom?
I didn't create it. It just magically appeared on my desk one morning with a note attached, saying "This is for all the good times we had together. Lots of Love. Anita The Mono-Breasted Goatgirl. xxx".

Q: I Really Love You And Want To Be Your Friend And Talk To You! Can I?
If you plan to stalk me then please let me know in advance. Thank you.