You Find Bruce Forsythe Living Inside Your Toaster

You wake up one morning and try to make some toast, when Bruce Forsythe jumps out of your toaster and slaps you on the face with a chicken.

This is a VERY common dream! I have personally had this dream so many times that I'm actually starting to believe it. I sometimes play the piano to entertain my toaster. However, what this dream means is that you are currently in a rough phase of your life where your pet Siamese-frog Albert has eaten all your wallpaper. Soon he will dress up like a telephone repair-man and will stuff tennis balls in your mouth while you are asleep, so be warned! Counteract the effect by saying the word “lubricant” non-stop.

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